Archive

Archive for the ‘Thoughts&Articles’ Category

Why victims must attend weekly meetings?

December 20, 2010 1 comment

A Victim of gender biased laws like 498A IPC

  •          You have been betrayed by the person whom you trusted most, with whom you were supposed to spend life.
  •          Further when you went to police they extorted money from you.
  •          Further when you when went to lawyer, he is only interested in your money not in your relief. He is interested in your take home salary to decide your fees.
  •          Every one cheated you whom you trusted.
  •          Most of you cannot tell what happened in your life even to your colleagues.
  •          Your close friends told you…C’mon yaar…This is normal in a married life…Do compromise and bring back your wife without even knowing what is 498A!!
  •          When Judge called you to his chamber…He told you Do Settlement…Else I will not grant bail to you.
  •          You are humiliated…Your feel Cheated…You feel betrayed…You feel your life is spoiled when you see married couple around you…who are doing shopping…who are playing with their kids in the park…who go to cinema hall every Friday to watch latest blockbuster…
  •          You are thinking how it can happen to you because you had never done any harm to anyone…
  •          You are thinking how it can happen to you because many of you are software engineer and write software and do technologically advanced things…
  •          You are thinking …can I marry again?
  •          You are thinking…How much lawyer will charge you for the next hearing…

 

Why victims must attend weekly meetings?

  •          Weekly meeting are conducted for the benefit of victims.
  •          The organisers of the meetings themselves are victims.
  •          Weekly meeting does not mean that organisers will read and review each victims file. That is impossible to do. A person must be a superman to do that. We are not!!
  •          Do not think we have a magic wand and all your issues can be solved easily. If it was the case we would have solved all our problems by now 🙂
  •          If there was a magic wand lawyer would have solved the case by now.
  •          If by money you can solve the problem then by this time you could have solved the problem.
  •          Because a victim cannot discuss all this even to your close friends because they cannot understand all this as they may not be having any problem with their wife and also they will not understand the legal complications. They may not even have gone through the humiliation, harassment and torture of a police station.
  •          To develop friends in the meeting so that one or two friends are completely aware of your case and can advice you accordingly.
  •          To develop emergency backup.
  •          To know what is happening in others case and learn from their experience.
  •          To know what kind of judgement your judge is passing and fine tune your case/argument accordingly.
  •          To know latest judgements and other related news
  •          To participate in letter campaign and other protest activities.
  •          To develop support structure.
  •           Share each other’s knowledge and experience
  •          To be in a group. Remember a group is more powerful than individual. A group voice is heard by media, government and police.
  •          You can learn counter fight technique like RTI, DP3, TEP, PCR, Perjury etc in the meeting.
  •          You can benefit from special session like “written argument”, “RTL session” etc in the meeting.
  •          You have a platform to fight injustice done to you.
  •          You can build confidence in the weekly meeting.
  •          Due to meeting you will get opportunity to interact with judges and media with whom you can share you pain and sorrow.
  •          There are many senior members in the group who have much more knowledge and experience than the lawyers.
  •          By participating in the weekly meeting you can do social service by helping others.
  •          Can have company in Court hall in a envy environment
  •          In weekly meetings you have people who “listen” to you else no one is bothered in the world to listen to you.

 

 

Advertisements

WHY DIVORCE IS ON RISE

Why divorce is on rise

Shocking Statistics related to divorce cases

  • Average 20 divorces filed every day in four Family Courts, Bangalore.
  • 15000 cases of divorce are pending in 4 family courts in Bangalore.
  • In 2008 alone 5000 cases were filed.
  • On an average it takes 15 years for the case to be disposed. 7 years in family court then minimum 4 years in HC and another 4 years in SC.
  • In 2008, 7,526 cases were filed in the Mumbai family court as against 6,761 in 2007.
  • In Delhi, nearly 9,000 cases are filed on an average annually.

 

Why divorce is on rise:

There are reasons galore for the rise in divorce cases. Urbanization and financial stability of both husband and wife are a major reason for increase in divorce. Today’s empowered women are refusing to follow the traditional culture of Indian marriages. Marriage is the biggest form of displacement for any woman as she has to shift from her home (natural habitat) to her husband’s home.

Today’s financially strong women are not ready to take undue pressure on their individual existence and thus marital discords are bound to increase. Financial stability of women is a major cause of rise in divorces, who thinks they need not require a family for their survival.

Another major reason for the rift in the family is that Government is making more and more women related laws which are “Gender Biased” like IPC 498A, Domestic Violence Act, CrPC 125, Hindu Marriage Act etc. These “Gender Biased” laws have been made in such a way that there are plenty of loop-holes for misuse. Women at the drop of the hat are rushing to the nearest police station to file case under IPC 498A, popularly known as Dowry Harassment cases. Normal wear and tear of the life between husband and wife are being converted to “Dowry Harassment cases”.

Nowadays “Empowered women” are aware that filing false cases under IPC 498A and Domestic Violence are as easy as ordering a Pizza. The system and the laws are designed in such an inhuman, insensitive and irrational way that there is no punishment for filing false cases. Maintenance orders are being passed depending upon the earnings of the husband without looking at eligibility or who is at fault. Due to all these “Gender Biased” laws women know that they can get heavy maintenance from husbands and they don’t try to save a marriage.

It is a universally accepted fact that every married couple has minimum wear and tear in life. Due to these gender biased laws the women often threaten the husband and his family members to file false criminal cases. For survival of any marriage three components are must and they are trust, love and affection. Once there is a threat of false criminal cases then the trust disappears and similarly the love and affection which eventually leads to divorce.

The couples do not try to work out the marriage as they are confident they can lead a life independently as both are financially stable. With stress and long working hours with little time for each other, couples drift apart and end up being separated. Today’s couples do not try to reconcile and are in a hurry to end the marriage. Marriages end in divorce because people rarely discuss their expectations in detail prior to tying the knot and are less willing to work on their marriages afterwards.

Daughter-in-law, from day one want to control his husband as they fear that he will help his sisters and brothers financially and part with his earnings. They look for quick solutions rather than resolving issues. People have divorced their spouses for trivial reasons like snoring. Earlier, the common reason for divorce was mental or physical torture but now it has more to do with incompatibility, adjustment problems, temperamental differences and intolerance. Growing levels of impatience in relationships were making couples opt for divorce.

There was news recently in the media that a woman in Mumbai was seeking divorce from her husband as they did not like her wearing chudidhar and wanted her to wear sari. So people are even seeking divorce on dressing style, food habits etc. Unnecessary interference from the parent of the daughter-in-law to control the husbands etc are causing major rift in the family.

Refusal of the wife, to stay with parent of the husband, no desire to experiment with lovemaking or unwillingness to do household chores are some of the other reasons for the rift in the family which eventually leads to separation and then divorce. Nowadays Daughter-in-law does not want to stay with husband’s parent and keep pressurizing husband to make a separate house thus leading to crack the family and eventually leading to divorce.

For more information please contact

P Suresh, President                                                           M Mahesh, General Secretary

9880141531                                                                     9731569970

You are also requested to visit

www.498a.org.in

www.family-harmony.org

https://498amisuse.wordpress.com/

Categories: Thoughts&Articles

Elder Abuse Awareness Day

ELDERS ABUSE AWARENESS DAY

June 15th is the 5th annual Elder Abuse Awareness Day. Organizations and communities across the world are engaging in activities which will raise awareness of this serious problem affecting elderly citizens worldwide. Elder Abuse Awareness Day was started in 2006. In its initial year, several hundred organizations and government entities participated in activities intended to help promote a better understanding of the issues surrounding elderly abuse in nursing homes around the world. Participation in the event has grown considerably each year.

National Family Harmony Society® is working towards creating awareness from many years regarding various issues of the aged, elder, ailing and senior citizens in India. NFHS has drawn the attention of the Government on the occasion of elder’s abuse awareness day regarding various issues faced by elderly senior citizens in India.

About National Family Harmony Society®: “National Family Harmony Society®” NFHS is a Non Governmental Organization (NGO) promoting the cause of “family harmony” and “gender equality”. It is registered under “The Karnataka Societies Registration Act, 1960” and is based in Bangalore. We have branches in more than 16 states and in abroad too. We have approximately 14500 members all over India. To know more about us, please visit http://www.family-harmony.org / http://www.498a.org.in.

It is a well known fact that normally in the context of Indian society and culture aged old parents normally stay with their son and daughter-in-law in the last leg of their life. It is being increasingly noticed as a trend that often such aged parents are tortured and harassed by the daughter-in-law and are exploited due to the fact that they are old, weak, ailing and do not have a place to live in the older age. Unlike the western countries where there are shelter homes provided by Government, In India such aged, elderly parents have to depend upon their son and daughter-in-law for their survival, medical treatment and care etc. This is also a fact of the life that once a person cross 50+ they suffers from various ailments for which they need extra care, affection treatment extra etc. A modern, young, well educated and working daughter-in-law considers age old parents of her husband a burden on her, as she needs to take care of them and also because she considers them an inhibition on her freedom to life.

“This is a well known fact that misuse of dowry laws (IPC 498A) and other women protected laws like Domestic violence Act now has become a well recognized problem in India. Increasing number of aged old parents in the husbands family are falsely accused and arrested and thrown out of their houses under these laws, and find them defenseless against legal terror unleashed thereafter. As per NCRB data 3500 senior citizens were falsely arrested merely on a false complaint of daughter-in-law.” said President of NFHS P Suresh.

“Over the years, various responsible agencies including Indian Judiciary has stressed on the need for amending these atrocious laws. The world health organization identified misuse of IPC 498A as the prominent reason for elder abuse in India” said General Secretary of NFHS M Mahesh.

A report on ”Elder abuse in India” by the United Nations, talks of dowry laws in India that girls are misusing to harass their aged, elder in-laws. Aged parents, after struggling lifelong and after discharging various duties and responsibilities such as education of the children, house, and marriage of the children wants a peaceful life in the old age. But as is found by various research reports by various NGO’s across India, they suffer the most in case the marriage of their son and daughter-in-law ends in dispute. Under the dreaded and dangerous IPC 498A the elderly parents of the husbands are immediately arrested and sent to prison, just on a written false complaint of the daughter-in-law. After a struggling life the elderly parents have to undergo the harrowing and humiliating experience of prison and police station.

“Why the aged old parents are immediately arrested just on the false complaint of daughter-in-law? Why the repeated pleas for amending these laws over the years by various NGOs and various courts are not being heard? Why are so many senior citizens being traumatized during the last leg of their lives?” NFHS activists have asked these uncomfortable questions to the Government.

IPC 498A has brought in large scale elder abuse. Apart from undergoing humiliation and harassment in the police station, courts etc and after running after the court for many years are acquitted. Such acquittal is meaningless as over the years these aged parents go through depression, disease, harassment, humiliation, torture etc.

Along with IPC 498A, Domestic Violence Act also has become a cause of worry for the innocent elders on whom false cases under these laws are being booked. Under the Domestic Violence Act, if a daughter-in-law gives a complaint to the magistrate then the entire family of the husband including his aged old parents is thrown out from the house and is forced to stay away from their own houses which they had built after years of struggle with their lifelong savings. In the name of protecting “a young married wife” senior citizens are abused and are humiliated by a system which is insensitive to the needs of elderly people.

Thoughtful points

  • As per NCRB data 3500 senior citizens were falsely arrested last year due to the misuse of 498A. It means every 2.5 hours one senior citizen is getting arrested.
  • On a false complaint under Domestic Violence Act, aged old parents are thrown out of their house.
  • In the last leg of the life when aged old parents need care and affection are humiliated, harassed and arrested.

Demands of the NFHS

  • Elderly, aged old senior citizens should not be arrested merely on a false complaint of daughter-in-law when there is no evidence and complaint is lodged with ulterior motives.
  • Just as a “young married wife” has right to stay in the house of the husband, similarly a law must be enacted for similar “right of residence” for parents.
  • A new law must be enacted on the lines of IPC 498A where on a complaint by elderly parents of husband, there must be provision to arrest daughter-in-law if she is found harassing aged old parents of husband. This proposed law must be non-bailable similar IPC 498A.
  • Government must make compulsory provisions of pension for elderly persons and make a new law for “right to live” which will guarantee minimum monthly allowances.

In case the complaint of the daughter-in-law against aged parents of the husband is found false then there must be provisions to punishment for daughter-in-law which will act as a deterrent against further misuse of law.

Categories: Thoughts&Articles

Wedlock should not become Deadlock

Wedlock should not become Deadlock

This is wrt the news article appearing in various news papers on 10-June-2010 wherein the Supreme Court has observed that “Husbands should forgot about their freedom”. This is a very insensitive remark from the highest court of this country. We at “National Family Harmony Society® NFHS strongly protest to treat husbands as free ATM machine who are punished in a failed marriage even if the wife is at fault.

About National Family Harmony Society®: “National Family Harmony Society® NFHS is a Non Governmental Organization (NGO) promoting the cause of “family harmony” and “gender equality”. It is registered under “The Karnataka Societies Registration Act, 1960” and is based in Bangalore. We have branches in more than 16 states and in abroad too. We have approximately 14500 members all over India. To know more about us please visit http://www.family-harmony.org / http://www.498a.org.in.

This is a well known fact that divorces are on rise in India at an alarming rate due to the heavy misuse of “Gender biased laws” which is breaking the families. Most of the laws in India which were made by British Government prior to the Independence were designed in such a way that it will cause harassment and torture to the innocents and rarely gave justice to anyone.

In the context of Hindu marriage laws which were written long back needs urgent overhaul. This law was written at a time when divorce was rare and the social situation and circumstances were different. Now in a marriage at the drop of a hat women are rushing to the nearest police station to lodge a false complaint of “Dowry harassment” and “Domestic violence”.

The laws which are many decade old and have not kept pace with the changed social circumstances and situations. The law makers are completely unaware of the ground realities. The law implementers namely police are not trained to deal with matrimonial disputes. They approach the matrimonial disputes in the same way as they deal a pick pocket case or a murder case and are insensitive and incapable. The law interpreters namely judges who are expected to deliver justice are unable to see the changed times where a wife is adamant, aggressive and violent and are highly misusing the laws made for the needy such as Domestic violence Act and IPC 498A.

The husband and wife who are caught in the litigation and counter litigation and do not have a way out as the Supreme Court has recently observed that “Whenever a person is married, there is no question of independence”. By making the observations, the court revisited the remarks of the vacation bench of Justice Markandey Katju and Justice Verma of 2009 wherein it had said: “Do what the wife tells you and never question her authority”. Justice Katju had said: “If men want to rule their life then they should always be on the right side of their wife. Otherwise, a defiant husband’s life would be ruled by others.” He said that if the “wife says turn right, turn right and if she says turn left, then turn left”.

The above are highly insensitive remarks from the highest court of this country which considers husband to be a slave and free ATM machine. In this context the decision of the Union Cabinet on 10-June-2010 to approve Marriage Laws (Amendment) Bill, 2010 to further amend the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955 and the Special Marriage Act, 1954, to provide therein irretrievable break down of marriage as a ground of divorce is laudable. It provides for a way out for the litigating couple and a glimmer of hope that “Wedlock should not become Deadlock”.

Jai Hind

P Suresh, President, Family Harmony Society

www.498a.org.in

www.family-harmony.org

Categories: Thoughts&Articles

Indian Justice System OR Indian Just-ice System

Indian Justice System OR Indian Just-ice System

Do we have Justice delivery system in place in our country? Does the Government know the ground realities? Does the Law minister know how much time it takes to get a final order from court (Anyway no one justice from courts) in this country. Well things might have remained the same way but thanks to the Bhopal Gas tragedy judgment, which got wide media attention across the country. I hope this judgment is enough to open the eyes of the Government about the ground reality. The justice delivery system in this country has collapsed. We at “National Family Harmony Society® NFHS are doing constant efforts to create awareness to impress upon the Government to let them know about the magnitude of the issue and for urgent Judicial reforms.

About National Family Harmony Society®: “National Family Harmony Society® NFHS is a Non Governmental Organization (NGO) promoting the cause of “family harmony” and “gender equality”. It is registered under “The Karnataka Societies Registration Act, 1960” and is based in Bangalore. We have branches in more than 16 states and in abroad too. We have approximately 14500 members all over India. To know more about us please visit http://www.family-harmony.org / http://www.498a.org.in.

Let us take the example of Family Court System. These special courts which were formed across the country to try the matrimonial related cases have done more harm to the litigant than good. The law is blind as well the people who are delivering it.

There are many loopholes in the system which one or the other litigant exploits it to their advantage. E.g. it is seen as trend that greedy estranged wives will implicate the husband and his entire family in the IPC 498A, popularly known as Dowry Law and then when the husband will put divorce application in the family court the estranged wife will oppose it. It is a matter of common sense that when the husband and his family went to the jail and the wife is seeking their jail term then how both of them stay together. In such situation and circumstances the best logical step is to grant divorce to both of them without trial but wives are making a mockery of justice by taking contradicted stand in both the cases.

Similarly in case of Domestic violence Act, the courts can pass Ex-Parte for residence in the husband’s house if she gives an application for residence in the court. As a matter of commonsense, if at all the husband was doing violence on the wife then how the wife be expected to continue in the same house?

I was attending my court date last month and a guy was sitting next to me. Out of curiosity, I asked him what is his case and he told me, seven years back while crossing the railway crossing his vehicle hit the railway gate and there was small damage (estimated at 2000/-) to the gate and the railway police had promptly put a FIR against him and over seven years he has been attending trial on every court date. Imagine the amount of money government has spent on his trial during the seven years and the amount of his productivity which has gone down the drain over these seven years. The logical step would have been he should have been tried in a fast track court with an option to him to tender apology and to recover the cost of damage to the railways. This is fair as he is not a habitual offender and the offence is neither intentional nor has endangered any one’s life. But we have a mechanical judicial system in place where the rules and procedures are more important than logic and justice.

Jai Hind

P Suresh, President, Family Harmony Society

www.498a.org.in

www.family-harmony.org

Categories: Thoughts&Articles

Governments hollow talks of “Women Empowerment”

Recently we all have been hearing loud noises from Government about the above mentioned subject with a flurry of activities in the name of “Women Empowerment”. We at “National Family Harmony Society®” NFHS wish to bring to the attention of all the stake holders of this nation that the kind of policies which Government is following in the name of “Women Empowerment” will eventually lead to breaking of age old tested concept of “Family” in India. It will generate more and more “Single Mothers” and “Fatherless Children”.
About National Family Harmony Society®: “National Family Harmony Society®” NFHS is a Non Governmental Organization (NGO) promoting the cause of “family harmony” and “gender equality”. It is registered under “The Karnataka Societies Registration Act, 1960” and is based in Bangalore. We have branches in more than 16 states and in abroad too. We have approximately 14500 members all over India. To know more about us please visit www.family-harmony.org / www.498a.org.in.
“Women Empowerment” cannot happen by ignoring the welfare of Men. “Women Empowerment” cannot happen by curtailing the rights of Men. “Women Empowerment” cannot happen by creating more and more “Gender Biased” laws. “Women Empowerment” cannot happen by reserving 50% seats for women in Parliament and else.

Does Government want an “Empowered Women” who is divorced? Does Government want an “Empowered Women” who is separated from her husband? Does Government want an “Empowered Women” who is in litigation with her husband?
If we look at the recent trend then the policies of the Government is creating more and more “Empowered Women” who are educated, earning well, Working in MNCs but in litigation with her husband’s. This situation is created because the lawmakers have been playing “Vote Bank politics” from ages which have done no good for the country and society. From decades politicians of this country have played “Vote Bank politics”. Every political party has tried to divide this nation by playing the dirty “Vote Bank politics” in the name of Religion, Dalits, and Caste etc. Now when all these things have saturated they are playing the dirty politics of “Empowered Women” which is doing more harm to Women than good.

In the name of protecting Women, Government has created more and more Gender biased laws such as IPC 498A, Domestic violence Act, CrPC 125, Hindu Marriage Act etc which are more misused than used. Even the Honorable Supreme Court has in 2009 acknowledged that Hindu Marriage Act is breaking more families than uniting. As per NCRB data, in 2008, 37369 females were arrested under IPC 498A. It means every 14.07 minutes one innocent female is getting arrested in IPC 498A. So it is clear that even the “Gender biased” laws which were created by the Government are only doing more harm to Women.
This unfortunate situation is because the Lawmakers of this country have not understood the meaning of “Women Empowerment” and “Women”. Women do not mean only a “young married lady”. Most women related laws of this country are made only for “young married lady” and the Mothers and sisters of Husbands have been completely forgotten. While “young married lady” can file a complaint to the Magistrate under the “Domestic violence Act” the Mothers and Sisters of the Husband cannot file a similar complaint. Lawmakers need to understand that laws need to be “gender neutral” and not “gender biased”. And the lawmakers also need to understand that “Women Empowerment” will lead to breaking of families if the rights and welfare of Men are ignored.

Jai Hind
P Suresh,

President,

National Family Harmony Society

Categories: Thoughts&Articles

Governments hollow talks of “Women Empowerment”

Governments hollow talks of “Women Empowerment”

Recently we all have been hearing loud noises from Government about the above mentioned subject with a flurry of activities in the name of “Women Empowerment”. We at “National Family Harmony Society® NFHS wish to bring to the attention of all the stake holders of this nation that the kind of policies which Government is following in the name of “Women Empowerment” will eventually lead to breaking of age old tested concept of “Family” in India. It will generate more and more “Single Mothers” and “Fatherless Children”.

About National Family Harmony Society®: “National Family Harmony Society® NFHS is a Non Governmental Organization (NGO) promoting the cause of “family harmony” and “gender equality”. It is registered under “The Karnataka Societies Registration Act, 1960” and is based in Bangalore. We have branches in more than 16 states and in abroad too. We have approximately 14500 members all over India. To know more about us please visit http://www.family-harmony.org / http://www.498a.org.in.

“Women Empowerment” cannot happen by ignoring the welfare of Men. “Women Empowerment” cannot happen by curtailing the rights of Men. “Women Empowerment” cannot happen by creating more and more “Gender Biased” laws. “Women Empowerment” cannot happen by reserving 50% seats for women in Parliament and else.

Does Government want an “Empowered Women” who is divorced? Does Government want an “Empowered Women” who is separated from her husband? Does Government want an “Empowered Women” who is in litigation with her husband?

If we look at the recent trend then the policies of the Government is creating more and more “Empowered Women” who are educated, earning well, Working in MNCs but in litigation with her husband’s. This situation is created because the lawmakers have been playing “Vote Bank politics” from ages which have done no good for the country and society. From decades politicians of this country have played “Vote Bank politics”. Every political party has tried to divide this nation by playing the dirty “Vote Bank politics” in the name of Religion, Dalits, and Caste etc. Now when all these things have saturated they are playing the dirty politics of “Empowered Women” which is doing more harm to Women than good.

In the name of protecting Women, Government has created more and more Gender biased laws such as IPC 498A, Domestic violence Act, CrPC 125, Hindu Marriage Act etc which are more misused than used. Even the Honorable Supreme Court has in 2009 acknowledged that Hindu Marriage Act is breaking more families than uniting. As per NCRB data, in 2008, 37369 females were arrested under IPC 498A. It means every 14.07 minutes one innocent female is getting arrested in IPC 498A. So it is clear that even the “Gender biased” laws which were created by the Government are only doing more harm to Women.

This unfortunate situation is because the Lawmakers of this country have not understood the meaning of “Women Empowerment” and “Women”. Women do not mean only a “young married lady”. Most women related laws of this country are made only for “young married lady” and the Mothers and sisters of Husbands have been completely forgotten. While “young married lady” can file a complaint to the Magistrate under the “Domestic violence Act” the Mothers and Sisters of the Husband cannot file a similar complaint. Lawmakers need to understand that laws need to be “gender neutral” and not “gender biased”. And the lawmakers also need to understand that “Women Empowerment” will lead to breaking of families if the rights and welfare of Men are ignored.

Jai Hind

P Suresh, President, Family Harmony Society

www.498a.org.in

www.family-harmony.org

Categories: Thoughts&Articles