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Definition of a Victim!!!

Trainee Victim ( During marriage)
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(After 498a complaint)
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Probationary Victim
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(After FIR is registered )
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Confirmed Victim
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( after trail of 2 years )
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Senior Victim
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Head of Victims( HOV )
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Chief Victim Officer ( CVO)
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(After all cases close )
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Victim Emeritus // Honorary Victim

Categories: Divorce, Husband-Wife

Best Divorce Letter!!!

Dear hubby,


I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever.. I’ve been a good woman to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it.

These last 2 weeks have been hell.

Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk dress. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your
games. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you are cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone.

Your EX-Wife
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your BROTHER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Dear Ex-Wife,


Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.

It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my games so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a boy!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk dress: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.

After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.

I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me.

So take care.

Signed,
Your Ex-Husband, Rich As Hell & Free!

P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my brother Carl was born as
Carla(woman)………I hope that’s not a problem……

Categories: Divorce, Husband-Wife

What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?

Q. What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
A. Divorced

Categories: Divorce, Husband-Wife

It’s my wife’s first husband!

The grief-stricken man threw himself across the grave and cried bitterly. “My life, how senseless it is! How worthless is everything about me because you are gone. If only you hadn’t died, if only fate had not been so cruel as to take you from this world, how different everything would have been.” 
    A clergyman happened by and to soothe the man he offered a prayer. Afterward he said, “I assume the person lying beneath this mound of earth was someone of great importance to you.” 
     “Importance? Indeed it was,” moaned the man. “It’s my wife’s first husband!”

Categories: Divorce, Husband-Wife

secret to making a marriage last

My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last:  Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food andcompanionship. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.  We also sleep in separate beds. Hersis in Florida and mine is in New York.

Categories: Divorce, Husband-Wife

I had him buried upside down

An old man and woman were married foryears, even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screaming andyelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, “When I die, Iwill dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of yourlife!”
     Neighbors feared him. They believed he practiced black magicbecause of the many strange occurrences that took place in their neighborhood.  Theold man liked the fact he was feared.
     To everyone’s relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 68.His wife had a closed casket at the wake. After the burial, she went straight to the localbar and began to party as if there was no tomorrow. Her neighbors, concerned for hersafety, asked , “Aren’t you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way up andout of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life?”
     The wife put down her drink and said, “Let the old creepdig. I had him buried upside down.

Categories: Divorce, Husband-Wife

What is the definition of divorce?

Q.  What is the definition of divorce?
A.  The screwing you get for the screwing you got.

Categories: Divorce, Husband-Wife