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Parting over, let’s party!


Parting over, let’s party!
Divorce can be a new beginning. So instead of moping and mourning, some couples are celebrating the end of their relationships. Welcome to the break-up party!

Remember Love Aaj Kal? When Jai and Meera are moving cities and decide they can’t be bothered to go through the hurt and heartbreak of an LDR (long-distance relationship), the two actually throw a break-up party where everyone’s invited to celebrate the split. That was probably one of the most original openings to a film in recent times. But it wasn’t a figment of the filmmaker’s imagination. Director Imtiaz Ali admits that a friend’s breakup party provided the inspiration.

Once a source of shame and embarrassment, divorce is now being viewed by many as a new beginning rather than a dead-end. Young professional Vandana Shah, who went through a bitter marriage and a subsequent divorce, turned her experience into a book called 360 Degrees Back to Life. Last year, she threw a party for 300 people. The idea was to celebrate her divorce. ”It was a great party,” says Shah. “Alyque Padamsee and his exwife Sharon attended together. Alyque spoke at the party and said when a relationship is over, it’s over and there’s no point clinging to it. I totally agree with him.” Before the party began, Shah organised a bonfire of her divorce petition and all court papers. “I felt like I had cleansed the past. It was exhilarating. I invited my ex-husband too, but he didn’t attend. My lawyer did, though,” she says. Shah also invited some fellow-divorcees to the bash. Understandably, the conversation was a bit catty. ”We exchanged anecdotes late into the night. We discussed who got what after the settlement and how. One lady said she gave away all her husband’s new clothes to charity. It was liberating to hear such stories and share my own,” says Shah. The split, she says, hasn’t turned her off love,” But next time I’m sure I’ll sign a pre-nup,” she says.

Pre-nup or no, de-nuptials are becoming quite a trend. When Girish and Jaya, both in their twenties, decided to end their relationship, they thought the best way to let their friends know was by co-hosting their last party. “It was quite a shock,” says Rohit Singh, the common friend who had introduced them. “Jaya sent out a mass e-mail saying she and Girish were throwing their last party together. I think it’s really mature to handle a break-up in the way they did,” he adds. “We were probably the happiest people at our party, the rest of our friends didn’t know whether to smile or be sad,” says Jaya, who’s enjoying her newfound single status. “Plus Girish and I are still friends. It’s just that a relationship wasn’t working.”

Many Hollywood celebs have had their own small (and big) ceremonies to celebrate the end of relationships. Heather Mills had a £250, 000 divorce holiday on Richard Branson’s Caribbean island. More recently, Katie Price threw a bash after her split with Peter Andre.

Experts say such parties signal a growing need for social rituals to mark an important rite of passage. A recent article in the Sunday Times , London observed: ”Where once divorce inspired pity, it is increasingly being seen once the tidal wave of emotion has subsided as the opening of a new life chapter, if not to be celebrated, at least worth marking in some way.” And there’s money to be made in splitsville, with businesses hawking everything from divorce cakes that have captions in icing that read ‘Free At Last’ to Just divorced T-shirts.

While not all couples have the courage to co-host a do to celebrate their split, sometimes just one of the two (the not-so-bitter half) decides to offload the stress by throwing a party. “The last two months with Leena were emotionally distressing for both of us,” says Manav, a chartered accountant. “My work was suffering and so was hers. When we finally decided to call it quits, Leena took some time off from work and I partied the night away with close friends. It was the release I badly needed. “Manav’s friends were understanding. ”We knew he went through hell these past few months, and a party was just what he needed,” said Radhika, his best friend’s girl. “But I doubt if I would ever be strong enough to celebrate a split with a party. I’d probably just sit home with a tub of ice cream and mope,” she adds.

Which is exactly what one must not do. ”Divorce is no longer such a taboo, yet we still have many people who suffer through it alone,” says Christine Gallagher, the author of How to Throw a Breakup Party . In an email interview, Gallagher elaborates, ”Other major life events have celebrations or ceremonies or rituals. It’s time divorce had one too so people are not isolated in a difficult time of change. Many people are comforted by being surrounded by friends and family. In some instances, divorce is a healthy move and deserves to be celebrated.”

Gallagher says back in the US, divorce parties come with ‘themes’ to suit the mood. ”A woman whose husband was always “golfing” to hide the fact that he was having an affair had a golf theme tied into the decorations and prizes and even a golf instructor who taught ladies how to tee off.”

For her favourite ‘survivor’ theme, Gallagher suggests everything be tied in with a desert island motif – pineapples, fish, coconuts, and guests come in sarongs and bikini tops.

All set to now pronounce you happily divorced.

De-nup etiquette

– Don’t invite family

– Don’t use the party to criticise the ex

– But don’t get too sentimental either

– Make it a point to celebrate the future, not mourn the past

– Invite interesting singles

Read more: Parting over, let’s party! – The Times of India http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/relationships/man-woman/Parting-over-lets-party/articleshow/5704962.cms#ixzz1Ae7j6mdB

Categories: Other news
  1. January 11, 2011 at 4:33 am

    Strange !!! I thought a “parting” party also invites Domestic Violence case with allegations “My hubby made very sweet cake for the party”, “my mother-in-law had made very spicy curry”, “my sister-in-law did not join the party stating that she wasn’t well”, “my father-in-law was sitting on a chair instead of attending the guests” etc … All this (and much more) is covered under DVA …she could have easily used this party for life time monetary gains :p

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