Home > Other news > Assert your rights, but remember give and take helps – 498A news in Hindu

Assert your rights, but remember give and take helps – 498A news in Hindu

Lakshmi Visweswaran

Having struggled hard to obtain legal means to break free from male dominance and depravity, are we women today at the point of endangering those very means?

The Committee on Petitions of the Rajya Sabha, under the Chairmanship of Mr. Bhagat Singh Koshyari, is considering a petition praying for amendments to Section 498A of the Indian Penal Code, 1860. The petitioner has pointed out the extensive abuse and misuse of this provision.

Section 498A deals with the husband or a relative of the husband of a woman subjecting her to cruelty.

Up in arms

Recently, sections of men who have been up in arms, demanding that the Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act, 2005, be made gender independent. The reason once again is that it has been misused by women causing unwarranted harassment to men, husbands in particular.

Nothing may really come out of the petition or the agitations immediately. Yet, they should serve to send alarm bells ringing in the mind of every self-respecting woman. I myself am a strong believer in the equality of men and women and the right of every woman to lead a life of respect and self-dignity. Yet, we cannot forget that we live in what is even today a male-dominated society. Women have had to struggle and fight male egoism at every step to get even a few benefits like the above legal provisions on our statute. The bill seeking 33 per cent reservation for women in the Lok Sabha and the State Assemblies was passed in the Rajya Sabha this year, after almost 14 years of its introduction, and it is anybody’s guess when it will be implemented.

A shield

The modern Indian woman with her new-found economic, social and political independence is no doubt kicking to break free from the fetters of subjugation and subordination which have haunted her since time immemorial. In this uphill task, she has to learn to use the law as a shield to protect herself and not as a weapon to attack. A handful of women are forgetting that any relationship, whether marital or otherwise, is not about who has the upper hand but about who complements the other and how.

Unfortunately today, aggressiveness has somehow become synonymous with “assertiveness” so much so that there are women who do not hesitate to file an FIR with the police or knock on the doors of the courts at the drop of a hat. A heated discussion or disagreement, a refusal by the husband to allow his wife to wear western clothes or go out with friends, some chiding by the in-laws could all easily be labelled as cruelty by some women and, with enough stoking by unscrupulous advocates, this snowballs into a legal battle which leaves nothing but a bitter taste and an empty purse.

Still a minority

No doubt, such women still form a minority, yet no one can overlook the harm they may inadvertently be causing to a large number of Indian women, who genuinely need the law to help them find a way out of their miserable and pathetic situations; also, many a time it is an escape route from what has become to them a living hell.

With more and more cases of abuse of women-centric legal provisions, the day may not be far off when the same men who conceded our reasonable demands start re-thinking.

With the joint family concept having become a thing of the past and with family ties getting weaker by the day, the need is for the establishment of several more counselling centres in colleges, offices, hospitals and even in courts. These must be manned by trained professionals who have in-depth knowledge of human psychology and behavioural patterns. People, especially youngsters, must be encouraged to seek the help of such centres.

In fact, all family disputes should be taken up only after it has been certified by a counsellor that the case is beyond counselling. Parents, family members and close friends can mediate and help the couple identify their actual problems and assist them in solving their issues amicably. Advocates also have a major role, for they can make women see the futility of their case and advise them accordingly, instead of stoking the embers into inferno.

Compromises

Lastly, women themselves have the power to make or break their future. The modern Indian woman should not forget that every form of relationship calls for some give and take. Small compromises or adjustments need not be misunderstood as signs of suppression.

No woman should ever suffer cruelty or harassment of any form silently. Yet, before rushing to court, let her ponder over and see if it is indeed her rights that have been trampled upon or it is just her ego that has taken a beating.

For, let us not for a minute forget that we women still walk across a minefield and if we do not tread carefully, there is every chance of the mines blowing up not just our lives but also the future of women.

No woman should ever suffer cruelty or harassment silently. Yet, before rushing to court, let her ponder over and see if it is indeed her rights that have been trampled upon or it is just her ego that has taken a beating.

http://www.thehindu.com/todays-paper/tp-features/tp-openpage/article947305.ece

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Categories: Other news
  1. VINAYAKA
    December 13, 2010 at 12:56 pm

    whatever the laws are they to protect women, if misused it is mainly the females who will SUFFER a lot in the future.

    laws are made today, their results will be visualized only after 10 years.

    only in the future people realise what blunder they have committed.
    now a days women do not try to adjust to the husbands family.

    in fact they in their MAATERNAL house have seen their FATHERS HARRASSING & ABUSING THEIR MOTHERS, SO IN THEIR HUSBANDS HOUSE THEY TAKE REVENGE ON MALES i.e on their husbands.

    so the wives proper knowledge on how to survive in this world, the mother does not teach her daughters.

    the result of large scale DIVORCES in INDIA, their results will be known only after 10 years.

    men may live anyhow in this world after getting DIVORCE, but what about FEMALES.
    how will they survive.
    parents may live 5 to max 10 years, but the DIVORCED daughter will have to lead a single life throughout her rermaining 60 years of life.
    or else the society will feast on her &
    So parents before going legally think a hundred times. do not file false compliants. there will be no way to compromise.

  2. VINAYAKA
    December 13, 2010 at 1:25 pm

    whatever the laws are they to protect women, if misused it is mainly the females who will SUFFER a lot in the future.
    laws are made today, their results will be visualized only after 10 years.
    only in the future people realise what blunder they have committed.
    now a days women do not try to adjust to the husbands family.
    in fact they in their MAATERNAL house have seen their FATHERS HARRASSING & ABUSING THEIR MOTHERS, SO IN THEIR HUSBANDS HOUSE THEY TAKE REVENGE ON MALES i.e on their husbands.
    so the wives proper knowledge on how to survive in this world, the mother does not teach her daughters.
    the result of large scale DIVORCES in INDIA, their results will be known only after 10 years.
    men may live anyhow in this world after getting DIVORCE, but what about FEMALES.
    how will they survive.
    parents may live 5 to max 10 years, but the DIVORCED daughter will have to lead a single life throughout her rermaining 60 years of life.
    or else the society will feast on her & make her a WHO*E or BIT*H.
    So parents before going legally think a hundred times. do not file false compliants. there will be no way to compromise.
    The wives who file false complaints, the police will try to help you by harassing the husbands & they will even resort to 3 rd degree abusement or harming the husbands family.
    The POLICE wants every compassion to show how much powerful he is in this world, just like a swyamvara where every male will try to suppress each other & show their strength.
    But dear wives if you do this kind of things there will be no future for you for RECONCILIATION.
    So don’t ever go to a policeman, he will clear cut dissolve your MARRIAGE. He will think your husband as a criminal & will also treat him & his family as such.
    The HUSBAND may try to take revenge upon you. & he will do it.
    It will be known in the future & time only will tell.
    So if you want your future to be bright & good with your HUSBAND please don’t file false cases & don’t go LEGALLY. Don’t involve a 3rd person in your relation.

    All men are born good, it is in your hands to keep it that way. If you fail to keep it you will be the worst sufferer, not your parents or instigators.

    Remember my words,
    ALL LAWS ARE MEANT TO PROTECT THE GOOD,
    ( NOT MEANT TO PROTECT A FALSE WOMEN.)
    So if men are good then laws will protect them, & false bad women will go to hell.

    This is the doctrine of KARMA.
    EVIL BEGETS EVIL

  3. AG
    December 13, 2010 at 9:56 pm

    No one is denying that women need protection . But Not offering the same protection to men is not of way of offerring protection to women ? Who will protect the husband if he suffers harrasment at the hands of his wife ? Which law will he use ?

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